Belated birthday breakdown

30.jpg

Last night as I was going to sleep I sort of had a belated “I’M 30 YEARS OLD?!?!?” breakdown.  I have no idea what triggered it since my birthday was almost 3 months ago.  Don had just turned out the light and like usual my mind started to wander from this to that as I began to relax and drift to sleep.  Out of nowhere it hit me-  I’m 30!  I was sort of stunned by it, kind of like when you learn something about a person you never would have guessed and you are speechless.  Apparently I said it out loud because I remember hearing Don next to me say “Congratulations.” 

I guess I’ve always thought that when you reach your 30’s your supposed to feel like an adult.  I don’t.  I still feel like a kid most of the time (and probably act like one too).  I look at others around me who have the life that I suppose most women in our society expect to have by the time they are 30: children, a home, circle of friends that you spend time with on a regular basis, roots.  Don and I just don’t fall into that category.  He’s always saying that we are weird because we choose to do things in a different order than a lot of people our age, and he’s right.  Here we are 30 and in the middle of starting over!   He went on to encourage me and remind me of all that is to come in our life and the plans and goals we have as individuals and as a couple.  It was very reassuring and I started to feel my anxiety slip away. 

I still don’t know where I fit in (and deep down inside maybe I still hope that people think I look 23), but I think I’m going to like being 30.   It’s kind of like a fresh start.  I still have 9 years and 9 months to make the most of it.  I think I’ll start now.

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6 thoughts on “Belated birthday breakdown

  1. Relax. I’ve found it comforting this 30th year to find out that most people this age — DON’T feel their age. That’s refreshing — because I’m not done being silly and confused.

  2. So, Jeremy, being silly and confused is normal? That’s good, ’cause I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember!

    And here I was worried I wouldn’t like my 30’s. Ha!

  3. Robin, welcome to being 30!!! For me it has been an AHA! time, where I realize that the illusions I had about 30 (you know….that by 30 I would have it all together and be well on my way to being a responsible and respectable adult -whatever that is) but instead I have discovered that I feel like I am 13 more often than not and that my life is probably never going to be stable! Although 30 has afforded me a weird experience…having my parents and other family members looking to me for advice and to take care of things. It is weird being an adult in the eyes of my elders!! Although I do wonder sometimes if it would have come sooner if I were a parent. That is one thing that I have yet to wrap my mind around, why being a parent, almost always, elevates you in maturity in others eyes?? Little things my brain ponders!!
    Anyway, welcome to the “we don’t have it together yet and love it” 30’s club!!!!

  4. Lynnee thanks for putting my mind to ease. I like where you’re going with the “We don’t have it together yet and love it” 30’s Club. We should meet every year in fun places like Vegas.

    By the way, do we get a membership card for being a part of this club? Will it get me any discounts at Denny’s or Shari’s? Oh wait, that’s still a ways off isn’t it?

    Love you babe. You and I should have a last woman standing competition. Whomever is the last one to have a baby gets a prize.

  5. hey spike,

    quick note . . . . . your link to Dan Kimball’s web site says “Dam” Kimball . . . thought that was funny . . . . . . . . 🙂

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